Everybody cheats

Couldn't resist Crate&Barrel's new everyday catalog with my girl, Giada De Laurentis, on the cover. Luckily I only had to turn to page 3 to see that Giada is launching anew line of Italian specialty foods available only at C&B. Stuff like salt, vinegar and herbs. So tasty. But not tempting enough to make me give up my diet.

The catalog diet

All these catalogs have gone to my hips. Not exactly, but it was a real pain in the rear to bundle up stacks of holiday logs for the recycling bin. I know, I've told you I'm not that responsible, but with this much paper, the green police would be after me.

How much? At least 50 pounds. I wanted to weigh the stacks on a scale, but I'm terrified of those things. Let's just say my catalog obsession is a weighty issue that probably should be evaluated by a professional.

So as of Jan. 1, I've been on a catalog diet. 14 days and still going strong. I'm reducing my dependence on glossy pieces of paper bound by staples. I'm slimming expenses, thinning clutter and narrowing my waste line.

But, boy, am I hungry.