Welcome to CyberMonday

If you didn't get everything on your list in the 3-day shopping-gasm after Thanksgiving, don't cry, big girl. Dry your tears and head for the computer for today's biggest online shopping day. Lots of free shipping offers, online-only deals and other cyber craziness.

I plan to hit up my favorite catalog sites, just to see what I'm missing. After last weekend, my feet hurt and my credit cards are on life support. But I'm sure you have room in your budget, darlings. So cyber-skidaddle.

Black Saturday Shopping List

I know y'all are exhausted from chasing the early bird around your local mall. After all, "Black Friday" is the shopping holy day - even for log lovers. So I admit to cheating a bit yesterday and heading out to catch a few deals. I won't be fighting the crowds every weekend - I still plan to let my fingers do the walking. And so should you, darling. But now that the holiday shopping season has officially begun, I know how hard it is to resist a little group retail therapy. So here are my five tips for surviving the madness at the malls.

1. Make a list : : Avoid the temptation to browse. Go with a plan in hand and know exactly what you want to get for Sister Suzy, Uncle John, etc

2. Go early in the morning or late at night : : Go home, put dinner on the table, get the kids in bed and then head for the mall around 9 pm

3. Read the sale papers : : And if you want something specific, bring along the flier or clip it out so you can show it to the salesperson to verify price etc.

4. Look for mall rewards : : Some malls offer cash back if you use a specific credit card. It's like free money!

5. Avoid the food court : : This is where the great unwashed gathers to rest their weary whatevers. But not us. We don't need the temptation of Aunt Annie's - after all, we've got fit into a great dress for New Year's Eve.

Saturday Shopping List - Got turkey?

It's time for the Big Eat. To be followed closely by the Big Sleep, as we well know. But with Thanksgiving just days away - are you ready for the in-laws? If you're hosting dinner, here are a few items that may come in handy - in addition to the brandy and other numbing agents. It's probably a little late to order, but there's always overnight shipping. Come on, you know your in-laws are worth it. Well, pretend they are.

1. Silicone prep and mixing bowls : : After all, who hasn't wanted to throw a few dishes on Thanksgiving? This way, nothing breaks and no one gets hurt. : : Chefs, $24.99-39.99

2. Hand-hammered chafing dishes with wrought iron stands : : Keeping the food hot prevents the conversation from getting too cold. : : Grandin Road, $149-$299

3. Mercury glass candleholders : : These are way too pretty to throw - unless Uncle Al pinches your ass again : : Smith&Hawken, $16-$24

4. Cheesecake Party Wheel : : If the turkey burns or, say drops on your significant other's foot by accident, let em eat cake : : Harry & David, $36.95

5. Taffetta holiday plaid wrap shirt : : Hey, a girl's gotta look good even while dishing out the gravy : : Coldwater Creek, $69.50

Come in from the cold

I always think of Coldwater Creek as appealing to a woman of a certain age - certainly older than me. But I was skimming through their holiday catalog and fell in love with outfit after outfit. (Horrible thought: Am I getting old - maybe my eyes are going?)

Regardless, I love the way the log displays its clothes. There are no models, so I don't get distracted by hating some too-perfect leggy blonde type. Instead, I focus on the outfit and can imagine myself in each skirt, dress or blouse. Plus, they do a good job of showing how to accesorize each look. Right now, they're having a sale on dresses - this was my favorite, but looks like it's just about sold out.

If you're not a fan of the Creek, and I don't mean Dawson's, check out their catalog online. It certainly won't disappoint. No matter your age- or style.

Saturday Shopping List - Birthday Edition

OK, darlings, I know I forgot to post a list last Saturday, but slide me some slack. I was celebrating my birthday last weekend and considering the number of candles on my cake, the only thing I should be shopping for is a facelift. Or maybe a fire extinguisher. Let's just say 40 doesn't seem so far away anymore.

So forgive me for shedding my tears in a few too many gin and tonics. I know, I know. Be grateful, count my blessings, blah blah blah. The only thing that could possibly cheer me up is a shopping spree!

1. Dinnerware : : Who says red is the only color for the holidays? How about bright hammered copper, lustrous silver and taupe or iridescent black plates that really set the table for entertaining success. : : Crate & Barrel Holiday, $19.95-$54.95

2. Flip-flop bins and mats : : Summer is so over and so are flip flops. But keep them around in these colorful storage bins and rugged door mats -- made from leftover flip flop material : : Viva Terra, $29-$135

3. Nambe Twist Cocktail Shaker : : Hold the ice. This shaker is made from Nambe metal, a cool alloy that has three times the cold retention of normal metals. Simply freeze for 30 minutes before serving drinks : : Hammacher Schlemmer, $144.95

4. Uglydoll : : With names like Toodee, Ice-Bat and Babo, these fleece dolls are so ugly they're cute : : Garnet Hill, $20

5. Built Two-bottle Tote : : It's party time and this insulated tote makes it easy to BYOB -- or to gift the hostess : : Built NY, $19-20

Catalog crusaders

It's holiday season, so I knew it wouldn't be long till someone started bitching about the number of logs in their box. That bitch turns out to be the Natural Resources Defense Council. Some of their greenie friends have created a web site where the whiners can go to "opt out" of specific catalogs. No, I'm not naming it, but you can get it here.

So far LL Bean, Lands End, Pottery Barn and Victoria's Secret are the logs most people chose to opt out of. I guess people don't realize that several catalogs, including Pottery Barn and Victoria's Secret, now use recycled paper.

I really don't have a problem with the environment. I love fresh air, clean water and polar bears. (Especially that little Knut in Germany.) But I hate getting saddled with a guilt trip because I enjoy catalogs. So what if it takes 53 million trees to produce them. I've planted like six trees in my yard this year - that should help.

If I didn't have catalogs, I'd spend every weekend driving from mall to strip plaza to outlet center just to browse. How much gas would that burn? I'm guessing alot of fossils, fools.

The moo-log

When I think about charity, the first thing that comes to mind is not a catalog. And when I think about making a donation, I don't usually think about heifers. (After all, I don't own any heifers. But I do know a few!) But there's a group that's combining catalogs and cows to do good in the world.

The Heifer International Gift Catalog allows you to send a gift of livestock, such as goats, chickens, cows, pigs, sheep and rabbits, to a family or community in need. The livestock is used to help create sustainable farming or to provide nutrition and income for families in villages around the world.

For example, the gift of a dairy goat ($120) can supply a family with several quarts of milk each day. Some of it they can take for themselves; the rest they can use to make cheese, butter or yogurt to sell at market. In addition, they can use goat manure to fertilize gardens, helping to create even more food for their table and the community as a whole. They can also breed the goat and sell the offspring to other members of the village.

So in many ways it's the gift that keeps on giving. And it's tax deductible. Heifer calls their log the "most important gift catalog in the world." I can't disagree.